Random Emo Song of the Week

Cute is What We Aim For - Newport Living
People who spend a lot of time in my car would know that I love listening/singing along to songs on my CDs. Newport Living is one of them. There's a few clever lines in the song but I've never really felt anything special until recently. I met a girl who's almost the exact epitome of this song. I didn't immediately think about this song when I met her, but I immediately thought of her when I listened to this song a few days ago. It just puts the song into perspective. As usual, lines that I sing along to louder than the rest are in bold.

Everyone's a let down
It just depends on how far down they can go
In every circle of friends there's a whore
The one who flirts
And does a little more
But who's to say?
This is a social scene anyway
And everybody wants to explore the new girl
Caught up in her own hard liquor world
But liquor doesn't exist in my world
But liquor doesn't exist in my world

And if you lie you don't deserve to have friends
If you lie you don't deserve to have them
If you lie you don't deserve to have friends
If you lie

You are a sell out
But you couldn't even do that right
So your price tag has been slashed
And now you're chillin' on a half priced clearance rack
You are a sell out
But you couldn't even do that right
So your price tag has been slashed
And now you're chillin' on a half priced clearance rack

The social scene where she gets her fix
Has been broken since '86
Now just look at that social clique
Do you really wanna be a part of it?
Let's not let us forget
Where she gets the habit
She gets the pills from her skills
She gets the skills from the pills
And just look at that clique
Do you really wanna be the star of it?

You are a sell out
But you couldn't even do that right
So your price tag has been slashed
And now you're chillin' on a half priced clearance rack
You are a sell out
But you couldn't even do that right
So your price tag has been slashed
And now you're chillin' on a half priced clearance rack

Good Actor? (insert maniacal laughter here)

Starceleb(I don't like using people's real names, remember?) called me up on Tuesday. She was supposed to go for a group meeting at Starbucks at the Curve but she's not that close to her friends so she wanted some company. I had nothing planned for the day except for basketball at 5 so I went ahead and hung out with her. Didn't know that I was about to do some fine acting on that day.

We were both smoking outside when Starceleb was telling me about how she looks old, people thinks she's married, got mistaken for her brother's mom, etc. I found the whole thing funny and had it in mind for a little while. Then her two other friends came and joined us. I don't remember clearly how the conversation was steered into the topic, but the fun began when Starceleb said that I was married.

Yes, yes. I could have just laughed and told them I wasn't married but where's the fun in that? I ended up (in order) :

1. saying I was 28 turning 29;
2. explaining that I work part-time in Pusat Sukan UiTM because I'm an amatuer baller;
3. showing pics of my two kids and wife;
4. telling a story about how me and my wife wore same colored outfits when I visited her for lunch this one time even though I didn't notice what she was wearing when she was leaving for work that morning;
5. explaining that I don't wear my wedding ring because I don't like wearing diamonds;
   
6. laughing inside viciously.

Funny thing was, they both looked like they believed every single thing I said. Damn, I must have put on quite a show. Of course, me and Starceleb had a conversation on a piece of paper about this. What was in the note?

"just remembered dat ur frens r frm kdu as well, so mcm kantoi if dey see me in coll kan?
but i told them dat u r from kdu.
owh, but dey all pecaya my story, so i hav to stick with it la. I'm just gonna tel dem i'm doin masters in kdu if dey ask.
y dun u tell them da real story?
tengok la dulu. haha."

Shortly afterwards, I did come clean with her friends and they immediately started saying things like, "I knew you couldn't be married", "Yeah, you look so young", "So that means you're single la?", etc. Thank God they had a sense of humor. Was actually half-scared that they might bite my head off after the confession, actually. (laughs while rolling on the floor)

Cold

I can't seem to write like I used to, but that's what I've been saying for the past few years. I cry a lot more now, sometimes when it's not even called for. I even smoke more, despite knowing that cigarette prices rise every year. It crossed my mind that my body is going through a deterioration process, where I'm slowly losing myself to nothing. Maybe it's not true, though the signs around me say otherwise.

I've been having trouble sleeping lately. No, actually. Scratch that. I've been having trouble sleeping early, lately. Despite not having anything to do at night, and tons to attend to in the morning, I still somehow manage to sleep around 3-4am every night.

My appetite's diminished. It's been growing smaller for the past two weeks now. I was happy because it increased dramatically last month, and I gained a few pounds, but now my eating habits are somewhat irregular. One meal a day seems enough, sometimes.

It's been raining almost everyday and it's hard to ball. God, I wish MBSA would build a covered basketball court in Shah Alam. Not being able to ball can only add to someone's(note: mine) depression.

It hurts when I type out certain things. I get teary-eyed everytime I try to type "I miss you".

I hate the fact that she's so far away from me now, but I'm glad because she's moving on with her life. It'd be a shame for someone so beautiful to be shackled, and I hope that she'll find joy in her newfound freedom. I hope the experiences she'll go through will make her a better person. I hope that her choices will bring her happiness. Most of all, I hope that I'll be able to join her soon. And whatever's left after this damned deterioration will gain back its life.

Puzzling, Complicated, and Colorful

I stumbled across this thing while sitting in front of my laptop.

you're a passionate kiss on Sunday, a cold cheek on Tuesday
my car has never witnessed such confusion
you've weathered tears through the years
but the public never sees you without a smile
even while pushing me away, you smile
brushing me off with a child-like gesture
if your gestures were colors, you'd look like a fun-fair
these are all part of your beauty, not in an obvious way
because art demands scrutiny
and it took me a while before figuring this out
you're puzzling, complicated and colorful
just like a Rubick's Cube, you're beautiful

Random Emo Song of the Week

Mayday Parade - Jamie All Over
Everytime I hear this song, I imagine myself going on a roadtrip with my girlfirend(if I had one) and just having a great time together. The way the guitar comes in at the beginning of the song, the vocalists' intonation, in fact everything about this song just screams out this good vibe. Whenever I listen to this song, I can picture myself with her with not much money, basically just driving around the country and hanging out and chilling at places along the highway where there's nothing else but a great scenery. Fricking AWESOME!!! Anyways, I can't put just one or a few single lines in bold because I like the WHOLE lyrics. So here it is.


I had a dream last night we
Drove out to see Las Vegas
We lost ourselves in the bright lights
I wish you could've seen us
Begging for change to get home
Or at least San Francisco
Let's put a ten on the high card
And spend a summer on the West Coast

Down and to the left
(Here's the map and the pen, the place you pointed at)
Be California's best
(All I ask, all I ask)

And please don't tell me that I'm dreaming
When all I ever wanted was to dream another sunset with you
If I roll over when it's over
I'll take this Cali sunrise with me
And wake up with the fondest memories

We made love by the ocean
As the waves crashed around you
Sunsets never were so bright
And the skies never so blue
You opened up into my arms
And we laughed as I held you
I'll never go back to Georgia
Not at least till I have to

Back From Korea

Damn it's been so long since I've last blogged. More than a month? Wow. Hurm. Oh well.

I had a family vacation in Seoul about a week ago. We spent a couple of nights at Vivaldi Park near Mt Sorak and a few more in Seoul. I wasn't too keen on the holiday at first because of the fact that it was winter but the trip turned out to be quite enjoyable. There's quite a few things to blog about, I guess.

I fell in love during the trip... twice... with a life-size cardboard model and a girl on Youtube. Sounds pathetic, right? Not really. I just think it's funny. Vivaldi Park had their own spokesperson/model and she was freaking beautiful in a cute way. They had a few billboards with her face on it, and a couple of life-size cardboard models around the resort. I wanted to take the cardboard models into my room and make sweet love to it, but it was too hard to steal so I had to settle with just taking a few pictures with it. The girl from Youtube was a different story. I was browsing through the net and stumbled across this video.





She looked cute, she acted sengal, she could play the guitar and she sounded amazing. I fell in love. and then I saw this video.




Her face reminds me of Aziz M. Osman's ex-wife. And I've had a crush on her for ages! She's one of the few women who I think looks amazingly beautiful with or without the tudung, and I have a feeling that this girl has the same beauty. Anyways, her name(on Youtube, at least) is Cherubicgirllarh. Even if you don't think she's lovable, you should at least listen to her once because she really does sound good. I'm digressing..

Another story from that Korea trip -I had to smoke outside of the hotel we stayed in because my dad booked a non-smoking room on a non-smoking floor in a hotel that has a non-smoking lobby(wait, did that make sense?). It was bad enough that I had to get into my hoodie/jacket everytime I wanted to smoke but I dropped my gloves halfway through the trip. Being the frugal man I am, I didn't buy a new pair so I had to endure the numbingly cold sensations running through my fingers whenever I feel like smoking. Not pleasant at all. So I managed to smoke without using my hands 90% of the time, keeping the cigarette butt constantly in my mouth and keeping my hands in my pockets most of the time. The only time I had to use my hands were when I had to light the cigs. Now that's a talent.

Will post more on subsequent days. I feel a tsunami of words(oh my god that sounds so lame) coming.

Hindi Movie Dream

I had a dream yesterday. I'm sure that it went on for quite some time, but I can only remember a few minutes of it and it looked exactly like one of those artsy Hindi movie scenes. You know the part where the girl runs away playfully into a large field with the guy chasing after her, and they're both laughing. It was exactly like that. And the girl was Comel.

The scene took place at night, and I remember the field was clear and I could see KLCC in the background. That reminds me, I'm a good cameraman in my dreams. No, seriously. The more I remember, the more I realize how good the cinematography was, but I digress. I remember seeing her from behind, wearing a light blue Baju Kurung with a thin shawl. She looked innocent. She turned around a few times, trying to see if I was still running after her. By the time I caught up with her, I had her in my arms and we had the most amazing kiss we've ever had. Lips slightly parted, minimal tongue. Just a short, sweet kiss. Come to think about it, I've had better kisses, just not with her, but that's besides the point.

Anyways, I don't know if I should put much thought about this dream. It was just a dream, after all. I don't really want any complications right now. I'm too tired. Sigh.

Random Emo Song of the Week

I've been listening to Alesana's album entitled Where Myth Fades to Legend(cool album name, by the way). Sounds emo, with a little bit of screaming here and there. It's pretty nice to listen to this album while driving. Nothing really special here but it's worth downloading, I guess.

Alesana - Seduction

Sunlight warms my face only in dreams of you
I know you'll wait for me... it's been too long
Beautiful eyes. beautiful lies to dull the pain
Beautiful eyes, beautiful lies... you're killing me
I would wait for years just to feel you again
I will die without you... would you my love?
Beautiful eyes, beautiful lies pour from your mouth as
You scream his name... you're killing me

Cries escape your sweet voice as I kiss you one last time
... One last time...
Do you remember me and our beautiful affair?
Look in my eyes and honestly tell me our love is gone!
Why have you turned your back on me?
One day you'll wake up and realize your mistake

Ice runs through my veins as I stand face to face with
The one who stole it all
Compassion is not an option

In love we're one, inseparable, pathetic lust, thus we crumble
I saw your eyes, I wiped your tears, I waited for you...

Who do you see with your eyes shut tight?
Regret will be your bride
Goodbye...

Cries escape your sweet voice as I paint my own goodbye

Lakers Lost? It's All Good

Other than the Suns, I also hate the Pistons and the Celtics. The Pistons, because of what they did to the Lakers during that one year they became champs, and the Celtics for what they did to the Lakers in last season's finals. I don't really hate the Pistons as much now, mainly because Big Ben's no longer big, Billups went home to Denver and A.I. is now a Piston. I was still pissed off because Detroit stopped our unbeaten run, but I saw the Denver-Boston game and it all evens out in the NBA. Lakers losing to the Pistons is not as bad as the Celtics losing to the Nuggets. So, yeah. I'm still happy.

On a side-note, I shouldn't eat too much right before training. I ate at Chili's before going down to the court, and the big portion of food didn't do me any good on the court. Saddiq was not amused. I was flat out tired after an hour, I didn't run on fast breaks, had a lot of stupid turnovers and was mostly just standing around on offense. On the plus-side, I'm getting comfortable with my mid-range jumpshots. If I could consistently hit those mid-range shots and people start to close up on me on defense, it'll be easier for me to drive by people. So, yeah. I'm going to work on my mid-range and make people respect my jumpshot.

Steve Nash is Funny!

I used to hate Steve Nash after those two first-round playoff meetings between the Suns and the Lakers a few years back. After watching these clips, and after the Lakers got WAY better last season, I'm beginning to think that Steve Nash is an okay dude. Funny, funny stuff.



Fave line - "I'd just like to take a big brand, put it on my back, give them a little piggyback ride for a while. See how good they can be."


The real secret behind his summer training, huh?



Fave lines -
"Triple X. When one X isn't enough"
"I'm just like you. But ten times better"
"When you think of MJ what's the first thing that comes to your mind? Me"

Like freaking seriously, I hate it when athletes try to cash in on their fame and appear on tv but I really think that Steve can be a good comedic actor. Will pay money to watch him in a movie. It has to be a comedy, though. And I'd want some grass to go along with it.