Since When Did I

I used to write in my blog for a completely different reason when I first started out. This blog was meant to be where I'll write about significant occurrences in which I'll read about it again in the distant future. It's a way for me to gauge my personal growth, as what I write usually mirrors my own maturity.
Nowadays, however, I only write when I'm feeling depressed. I write when I have a problem and I can't seem to write when I'm happy. How will this affect my blog's original purpose, then? It doesn't matter. Even if I do only write when I'm depressed, I'll still have a good time re-reading my posts. It's like being in a time machine where I can dwell in past memories and laugh or cry about it.

P/S : How many readers do I have? And how did you know about my blog? Did I tell you about it, or did you find out from facebook? Am I suffocating you with questions?

I've Got a Bad Feeling About This

Over the past two-three weeks, I've had a constant discomforting feeling. It has nothing to do with my injured right hand, and it has nothing to do with drugs/sobriety. It has something to do with... (still can't put my finger on it). Sigh.

Maybe someone I love is in danger or is going through something serious. No bad news so far. Absence of ill news is a form of good news, hopefully. Maybe someone's plotting an evil plan to ruin me? Surely my evil twin brother has not escaped from the mental institution hell-bent on getting his revenge on me, because I don't have an evil twin brother. Maybe this feeling is just a prelude to achieving greatness within myself, like getting superpowers ala Heroes. That would be cool. That would be really cool.

As cliche as it sounds, it's really hard to describe the feeling. My limited vocabulary and uninteresting style would not stop me from trying to describe it, though. (*ehem* - clears throat before starting to explain) For starters, I would feel as if there's a void right between my chests, literally. Sometimes whenever I notice that feeling I'd also realize that i stopped breathing for a while. Things would be out of focus, as if I was staring blankly into space. It also makes me feel anxious. Or jumpy. Like prison-bitch jumpy. Not a good feeling to have.

I pray this shall pass for I do not enjoy these feelings. It's making me lose sleep.

On second thought, I pray that these feelings are just symptoms of a soon-to-be superhero on the verge of discovering his superpowers. Amin.

There's This Place

There's this place near Pendang, Kedah. It's right off the PLUS highway near the Pendang exit but you can only access it if you're heading south. No one goes or stops there because there's nothing except for a place to park your car and a few trees to provide shade. Why the fascination with the location? Because I've never experienced a disappointing view from the place. It consists of a wide paddy field with a few prominent trees, an occasional cow or two, and a distant mountain in the background. Be it day or night, rain or shine, the scenery is always serene. It's a perfect place for you to simply park, smoke up, rest and stare. Nice.

The Blue CRV

Sometimes, I drive the car aimlessly. I don't have a destination in mind, I simply drive. I'll drive through new places, exploring inner roads while occasionally getting lost. I turn the music down and talk about random things. This goes on for a while before I decide that I've had enough and start driving back home.

Sometimes, I drive the car aimlessly. I don't have a destination in mind, I simply drive and follow your directions because I'm crap at remembering roads. Thank God you're good at it. I'll drive through new places, exploring inner roads while occasionally getting lost because it's something you like to do. I turn the music down and talk about random things because that's how we connect. This goes on for a while before I decide that I've had enough and start driving back home.

Sometimes, I drive the car aimlessly. I don't have a destination in mind, I simply drive and follow your directions because I'm crap at remembering roads. Thank God you're good at it. Too bad you're not here. I'll drive through new places, exploring inner roads while occasionally getting lost because it's something you like to do. Also, because it's something we used to do together. I turn the music down and talk about random things because that's how we connect. It makes me feel like you're actually there sitting next to me, listening to my pointless ceritas. This goes on for a while before I decide that I've had enough and start driving back home, wishing I could instead drive to wherever you are.

Sometimes, I drive the car aimlessly because I miss you.

I miss you.

Sweat, Repeat

He starts by bending his knees, both his feet set on the ground. Both his hands are on the ball, positioned in his shot pocket. He gathers energy as he moves his body upwards, channeling the inertia from his legs to his arms and raising the ball up. His right hand is behind the ball, his elbow straight towards the basket. His left hand is on the side of the ball, providing guidance as he launches it into the air. His right hand follows through but the ball hits the back of the rim. He gathers his own miss. He repeats, his mind somewhere else.

He often finds himself in the same situation. A gentleman born in the wrong decade, women his age seldom understand his qualities. Always the preferred son-in-law candidate, never the worthy potential partner. A dying breed, this sad gunner. No one he's been with is ever ready for what he has to offer, and a man can only take so many heartbreaks. Sooner or later, he'll start to lose all feeling. With every failed relationship, he closes in on becoming just like his peers. Heartless. Numb. Pathetic.

He lies down on the court, ball not far from his hand. He stares directly at the night-sky, gasping for air. Burnt-out, he thinks about going back. A swift wind passes by him and sends a chill over his sweaty body. He pauses for a moment, realizing that there's nothing else to think about. He picks himself up. He looks at the ball next to him and knows exactly what to do next. "100 more jump-shots," he mutters under his own breath.

Broken Laptop

Ali was still groggy and didn’t bother to check who was calling when he picked up the phone. Immediately after hearing the sobs on the other line, though, he knew exactly who it was. She sounded frantic and it took a while before Maia could form whole sentences.

“Ali, my laptop broke down. I was doing work on it and the monitor suddenly went blank but the laptop’s lights are still on. I have an assignment due next week and all my work’s inside there. I’ve tried everything but it still doesn’t work. I really need your help.”

Ali is not an IT expert. He knows the basics of working a computer, but troubleshooting is not one of his strengths.

Ali sounded cool, thinking it was just something trivial. “Have you tried taking out the battery?”

“Yes.”

He began to realize that this wasn’t just a normal problem. “Have you tried taking out all the wires?”

“Yes. I’ve tried all that and it doesn’t work. There’s nothing on the screen and the computer won’t shut down or restart.”

Ali was baffled. This was beyond his limited knowledge. He still wanted to sound composed, even though he was perplexed, if only to calm her down. She regressed to mumbling like a little child, sounding afraid. Ali couldn’t think of anything else.

“Have you tried putting it in the fridge?”

“Huh?”

“Because that wouldn’t help.”

There was silence. Then, Maia burst into laughter. It went on for a good five, maybe even seven seconds.

“Thanks, Ali. I needed that.”

“No problem, sayang. Sorry I couldn’t help with your laptop. Just leave it be for the night and hopefully we’ll think of something else tomorrow.”

“I love you, baby. Good night.”

“Good night, sayang.”

Ali put down the phone, pondered if Maia was feeling better, smiled, and went back to sleep.

Keputusan Perlawanan Archers vs Zeroes 24/05/09

"Perasaan hampa jelas kelihatan pada pemain-pemain Archers"

Liga Bola Keranjang Tidak-Cina (NCBL) bermula pada Ahad lepas dengan perasaan "haip" yang tinggi ketara ternampak pada pemain-pemain Archers. Akan tetapi, pasukan Archers diselubungi masalah sebelum dan semasa perlawanan mereka, di mana mereka di"kitai" oleh pasukan Zeroes yang tidak menurunkan big man mereka yang khabarnya hebat. Penulis mendapat tahu yang big man itu tidak turut serta kerana menghadiri kenduri kahwin.

Zeroes tidak boleh dinilai kehebatannya hanya pada perlawanan ini kerana ketidakhadiran big man mereka serta star mereka (brader no. 15) sejuk semasa awal-awal perlawanan. Kemungkinan besar kalau big man itu hadir, serta brader no. 15 itu panas-atas dari awal game, Archers bukan sahaja akan di"kitai" malahan dijadikan lauk, ditapau dan di hantar ke pejabat pos supaya mereka boleh pergi mampos.

Masalah Archers bermula sebelum perlawanan bermula kerana masalah dengan jersi mereka yang tidak hadir tepat pada masanya. Dua orang pemain mereka yang tercedera terpaksa menjemput jersi tersebut hadir dari Kampung Tunku ke Balakong.

Selain dari itu, Archers juga tidak mempunyai Pengawal Mata (point guard) mereka, Fikri Hairudin serta Pengawal Menembak (shooting guard) mereka, Badli Shah. Masalah utama Archers adalah ketidakbolehan mereka untuk mengawal pemain-pemain perimeter Zeroes dari menggelecek bola ke dalam kawasan cat. Selain dari itu, Pengawal-Pengawal Archers banyak memaksa hantaran buruk dan gagal menggunakan big men Archers kepada potensi penuh mereka.

Energy-Guy-off-the-Bench-ala2-Sasha-Vujacic-without-the-long-hair, afiqPG, juga tidak menunjukkan yang beliau telah bersedia untuk bermain. Jurulatih Archers, saudara Hilmi Rashid, kelihatan hampa dengan afiqPG dan berkata kepadanya dengan muka ketat bercampur sarkastik, "aku tau player diorang besar, sakit badan kalau nak box out kan?".

Ramai pihak beranggapan bahawa perlawanan Archers dan Griffin pada minggu ini umpama Sacramento Kings bertemu Oklahoma City Thunder, atau Hull City bertemu West Brom Albion. Akan tetapi, penulis berpendapat bahawa permainan pada Ahad ini akan menunjukkan pasukan Archers yang lebih efisien dalam pertahanan dan penggunaan big men mereka. Saudara Hilmi Rashid dijangka akan menekan Archers dengan tekanan yang boleh membuatkan mereka tertekan pada sesi latihan yang akan datang untuk menekankan kepentingan tekanan untuk bermain dengan lebih elok pada Ahad ini. Energy-Guy-off-the-Bench-ala2-Sasha-Vujacic-without-the-long-hair juga dijangka akan bermain dengan lebih agresif setelah dibakar pada perlawanan Ahad lepas. Sila tunggu dan lihat. Sekian.

P/S: Penulis juga berpendapat yang Archers tidak cukup tidur sebelum perlawanan mereka minggu lepas yang (sepatutnya) bermula pada pukul 8. Nasib mereka baik kerana perlawanan minggu ini bermula pada pukul 11.45.

Random Emo Song of The Week

Pesawat - Mirage
I've finally started listening to Xfm a couple of weeks back. I remember when I first broke up with Comel, and I couldn't even bring myself to listen to 103.00 because almost every song on their playlist reminded me of her. It got to a point where I would listen to songs on my phone while in someone's car, just so that I won't have to listen to those songs. Well, I've been spending a lot of time in my car these past few weeks driving around from damansara to subang to selayang to cyberjaya (damn you drama queens) and I got bored to listening to all my CDs (almost impossible, I know). I decided to listen to Xfm. Guess what? They don't play the same songs, and even the DJs have changed. Most importantly, I can tune in to Xfresh without a heavy heart. This brings me to this song.
Mirage, by Pesawat, is a catchy song with short, straight-forward lyrics. I especially like the acoustic version. Can't get the chorus out of my head at the moment. There's no significance to the lyrics (for myself, at least) but the words are still pretty cool. As usual, lines that I like are in bold.

Cahaya terang menembusi
Bagai sebuah kisah misteri
Kau mungkin … asing
Kau mungkin …
pernah ku kenal sebelum ini

Resah gelisah dibuatnya
Bagai sebuah cereka cinta
Haru … biru
Kelam … jiwaku
Semakin kacau

Siang malam termimpi mimpi
Pagi petang tercari cari
Tiap saat ternanti nanti
Kau masih tiada disisi

Apakah ini satu mimpi
Terasa bagai sebuah delusi
Ilusi … mata
Maian … jiwaku
Semakin kacau

Two Posts in One Day? jiwa kacau la tu...

Here's some general advice. It's pretty much plain logic but some people just doesn't seem to understand it.

• If you're not interested in someone, don't keep on giving them hope and just tell them directly that you're not interested.
• If you're still not over your ex, don't flirt or go out on dates unless the other person knows that you're not over your ex.
• Just because you know someone likes you, it doesn't give you the right to ask him for help all the time. That's called taking advantage.
• If you're going out with more than one person at a time, inform the people involved. Don't lie about it. Don't even try to hide it.

Anyways, I hate seeing my friends go jiwa kacau over relationship problems. When they get jiwa kacau, I get jiwa kacau. You won't like me when I get jiwa kacau. So please don't make my friends get jiwa kacau. Thanks in advance.

Answers

I did a "How Well Do You Know Me" quiz on facebook and expected no one to score 100% on it. I was so confident that I even put up an invitation to treat - the first person to get 100% will get free lunch. Imagine my surprise when Adam got everything right. Anyways, I'm posting up the quiz here along with some extra information. Here goes:

1)	Which of the following nicknames are not mine?
a)	Bomba
b)	PG
c)	White Choc with Strawberry Chips
d)	Rangga
e)	Sasha

2)	My priorities from left to right would be
a)	family, friends, girlfriend/lover
b)	family, girlfriend/lover, friends
c)	girlfriend/lover, family, friends

3)	From left to right, the things that interests me the most would be
a)	basketball, "smoking", comedy, guitar-heavy music,
b)	"smoking", basketball, guitar-heavy music, comedy,
c)	basketball, guitar-heavy music, comedy, "smoking",
d)	guitar-heavy music, basketball, comedy, "smoking",

4)	I listen to
a)	Guitar-heavy music - anything that rocks
b)	Love songs - because i'm a lonely guy inside
c)	Xfm - kami tak hot, kami cool!
d)	anything other than the stuff people play in clubs
e)	Psychedelic songs - sounds that you can feel

5)	Places that I've not stayed at in Malaysia (min= 1 year)
a)	Kelana Jaya
b)	Melaka
c)	Subang
d)	Shah Alam
e)	Kuala Kangsar

6)	Which of the following universities/colleges has Afiq not been a part of?
a)	UiTM Seksyen 17, Shah Alam
b)	KDU College
c)	Universiti Malaya
d)	UIUC
e)	Universiti Teknologi Petronas

7)	Favorite basketball player of all time
a)	Cik Arip
b)	Kobe Bryant
c)	Sasha Vujacic
d)	Greg Ostertag
e)	Didier Drogba

8)	I don't watch
a)	Prison Break
b)	Ghost (the TV show, not the movie)
c)	crappy Malay movies
d)	TV
e)	Family Guy

1) People used to call me Bomba back when I started playing basketball in Projek, and it continued when I balled at Section 12. Most people know me by PG. Budin called me White Choc with Strawberry Chips when I balled in Section 18. Farid started calling me Rangga from time to time when my hair was long. Sasha is just a nickname that I wish I could have, because I view myself as an "energy guy off the bench ala-ala Sasha Vujacic but without the long hair". No one calls me Sasha, though. At least not yet.

2) Family comes first. That's a no-brainer for me. Friends, if you've hung out with me long enough you've most probably been ditched at least once because I had to go out with my girl. Seriously.

3) Honestly, I can't live happily without these four things. I listen to guitar-heavy music a lot, I love laughing, I can't stop smoking and I live basketball.

4) I listen to almost everything. Except for most of the stuff that people play in clubs. That's one of the reasons why I shy away from clubs and mainstream radios.

5) Brief history here - born in Subang, stayed with my extended family in Alor Star for a while, moved to Melaka for a couple of years, then moved to Kelana Jaya before finally moving to Shah Alam. Kuala Kangsar is my Kampung, but I've never stayed there for extended periods of time.

6) I studied in PASUM (which is in Universiti Malaya) for a month or so before getting an offer to study in INTEC (aka UiTM Seksyen 17, Shah Alam). I got accepted into UIUC (University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign) after that but came back to Malaysia after a year or so and enrolled in KDU. I've been to UTP (Universiti Teknologi Petronas) a few times but not as a student there.

7) Cik Arip is the best small point guard I've ever played with or against. If the guy wasn't 5' 6", I bet he'll be representing Malaysia. Seriously. Sasha Vujacic is simply a guy who I think is most similar to me in terms of playing style. He's not that good (just like me.. lol). Greg Ostertag is not just a basketball player. He's a basketball icon. Read this, this and this. Still not my all-time fav, though. By the way, I can't watch Kobe play without cursing at least once. E.g: "***** power sial", "**** macam mana dia boleh spin ***** lawa macam tu dowh", "HOW THE ******* HELL DID HE DO THAT?"

8) I have a crush on Cheryl Samad, and I honestly believe that Ghost is a frickin good Semi-Malay TV show. Sundays at 9.30pm on 8TV, in case you're wondering. I like watching crappy Malay movies from time to time because I find them funny. I don't watch TV as much as I did back in school, but I still watch it. Family Guy's a no-brainer, right? I have a Stewie Griffin tee for God's sake. Anyways, I don't watch Prison Break. No idea why but the show just doesn't interest me that much.

So, now you know more about me. Congrats.