Friday, February 27, 2009


I can't seem to write like I used to, but that's what I've been saying for the past few years. I cry a lot more now, sometimes when it's not even called for. I even smoke more, despite knowing that cigarette prices rise every year. It crossed my mind that my body is going through a deterioration process, where I'm slowly losing myself to nothing. Maybe it's not true, though the signs around me say otherwise.

I've been having trouble sleeping lately. No, actually. Scratch that. I've been having trouble sleeping early, lately. Despite not having anything to do at night, and tons to attend to in the morning, I still somehow manage to sleep around 3-4am every night.

My appetite's diminished. It's been growing smaller for the past two weeks now. I was happy because it increased dramatically last month, and I gained a few pounds, but now my eating habits are somewhat irregular. One meal a day seems enough, sometimes.

It's been raining almost everyday and it's hard to ball. God, I wish MBSA would build a covered basketball court in Shah Alam. Not being able to ball can only add to someone's(note: mine) depression.

It hurts when I type out certain things. I get teary-eyed everytime I try to type "I miss you".

I hate the fact that she's so far away from me now, but I'm glad because she's moving on with her life. It'd be a shame for someone so beautiful to be shackled, and I hope that she'll find joy in her newfound freedom. I hope the experiences she'll go through will make her a better person. I hope that her choices will bring her happiness. Most of all, I hope that I'll be able to join her soon. And whatever's left after this damned deterioration will gain back its life.