Hindi Movie Dream

I had a dream yesterday. I'm sure that it went on for quite some time, but I can only remember a few minutes of it and it looked exactly like one of those artsy Hindi movie scenes. You know the part where the girl runs away playfully into a large field with the guy chasing after her, and they're both laughing. It was exactly like that. And the girl was Comel.

The scene took place at night, and I remember the field was clear and I could see KLCC in the background. That reminds me, I'm a good cameraman in my dreams. No, seriously. The more I remember, the more I realize how good the cinematography was, but I digress. I remember seeing her from behind, wearing a light blue Baju Kurung with a thin shawl. She looked innocent. She turned around a few times, trying to see if I was still running after her. By the time I caught up with her, I had her in my arms and we had the most amazing kiss we've ever had. Lips slightly parted, minimal tongue. Just a short, sweet kiss. Come to think about it, I've had better kisses, just not with her, but that's besides the point.

Anyways, I don't know if I should put much thought about this dream. It was just a dream, after all. I don't really want any complications right now. I'm too tired. Sigh.

Random Emo Song of the Week

I've been listening to Alesana's album entitled Where Myth Fades to Legend(cool album name, by the way). Sounds emo, with a little bit of screaming here and there. It's pretty nice to listen to this album while driving. Nothing really special here but it's worth downloading, I guess.

Alesana - Seduction

Sunlight warms my face only in dreams of you
I know you'll wait for me... it's been too long
Beautiful eyes. beautiful lies to dull the pain
Beautiful eyes, beautiful lies... you're killing me
I would wait for years just to feel you again
I will die without you... would you my love?
Beautiful eyes, beautiful lies pour from your mouth as
You scream his name... you're killing me

Cries escape your sweet voice as I kiss you one last time
... One last time...
Do you remember me and our beautiful affair?
Look in my eyes and honestly tell me our love is gone!
Why have you turned your back on me?
One day you'll wake up and realize your mistake

Ice runs through my veins as I stand face to face with
The one who stole it all
Compassion is not an option

In love we're one, inseparable, pathetic lust, thus we crumble
I saw your eyes, I wiped your tears, I waited for you...

Who do you see with your eyes shut tight?
Regret will be your bride
Goodbye...

Cries escape your sweet voice as I paint my own goodbye

Lakers Lost? It's All Good

Other than the Suns, I also hate the Pistons and the Celtics. The Pistons, because of what they did to the Lakers during that one year they became champs, and the Celtics for what they did to the Lakers in last season's finals. I don't really hate the Pistons as much now, mainly because Big Ben's no longer big, Billups went home to Denver and A.I. is now a Piston. I was still pissed off because Detroit stopped our unbeaten run, but I saw the Denver-Boston game and it all evens out in the NBA. Lakers losing to the Pistons is not as bad as the Celtics losing to the Nuggets. So, yeah. I'm still happy.

On a side-note, I shouldn't eat too much right before training. I ate at Chili's before going down to the court, and the big portion of food didn't do me any good on the court. Saddiq was not amused. I was flat out tired after an hour, I didn't run on fast breaks, had a lot of stupid turnovers and was mostly just standing around on offense. On the plus-side, I'm getting comfortable with my mid-range jumpshots. If I could consistently hit those mid-range shots and people start to close up on me on defense, it'll be easier for me to drive by people. So, yeah. I'm going to work on my mid-range and make people respect my jumpshot.

Steve Nash is Funny!

I used to hate Steve Nash after those two first-round playoff meetings between the Suns and the Lakers a few years back. After watching these clips, and after the Lakers got WAY better last season, I'm beginning to think that Steve Nash is an okay dude. Funny, funny stuff.



Fave line - "I'd just like to take a big brand, put it on my back, give them a little piggyback ride for a while. See how good they can be."


The real secret behind his summer training, huh?



Fave lines -
"Triple X. When one X isn't enough"
"I'm just like you. But ten times better"
"When you think of MJ what's the first thing that comes to your mind? Me"

Like freaking seriously, I hate it when athletes try to cash in on their fame and appear on tv but I really think that Steve can be a good comedic actor. Will pay money to watch him in a movie. It has to be a comedy, though. And I'd want some grass to go along with it.

Cyberjaya Tourney

There's a 3 on 3 tourney in Cyberjaya on the 29th, and I plan on entering. I'm bringing John and Man Rebound. At least, that's what I think right now. John may or may not be able to play with me because he's only 19, and I'm not sure if he'll be able to play in the same category as me. Man on the other hand has a tournament in Perak a week before the 29th so he'll only be able to play barring any injuries. I'm crossing my fingers on this one. I hope I can play with these two guys.

Details -
Where : Pusat Komuniti Cyberjaya
When : 8am-6pm, Nov 29th 2008
Categories : Under 19, 20-24, 25 and above (only Non-Chinese)

Anyways, here's my take on the two guys who (I hope) will be playing with me. John's a natural swingman. He's got his triple-threat going on, but he can still post-up against smaller guys and dominate because of his freakish athletic ability. Man Rebound, despite his name, is not just a rebounder. He's a freaking great rebounder, one of the best I've seen for his size, but he also possesses some nice post moves. No perimeter game, but he can shoot from midrange decently. Mainly a high-post player. Some say one-dimensional, I say nevermind.

I'm feeling good about these two guys, because John's a hell of a spot-up shooter and Man's a great option in the post. That means I can just hang around the 3-point line and play my game. Defensively, I'll be taking the weakest opponent because John's a good perimeter defender (freakish athletic ability+wingspan like a hawk=hard time for opponents) and Man is a good shot-blocker for his size. Unless we go up against a team with a 6'2" ogre, I'm pretty sure we'll do alright.

I'm not putting too much hope on this tourney, because it's open to anyone who's not Chinese and there's a lot of good Malay ballers out there. Hopefully the guys would be too exhausted from the Petronas Cup (yet another non-chinese tourney, although a more established one) and skip this tourney. Then my team would have a good shot. Wait a second. I haven't registered for the tourney yet. Arck!

Shot

Random short poem I found. Sounds so depressing, but accepting at the same time.

I can't blame you for this. I should've seen it coming.
It was my fault, I suppose.
I provided the gun.
I provided the ammo.
I provided the easy target.
Come on now, baby.
Put me out of my misery.
Here we go, will you pull the trigger now?

Budak Kelantan

I had some alone time yesterday. 7 hours, to be exact. It was hell. I've been going through this phase where I'm starting to miss my ex, and I know that it's part of the whole acceptance process but it doesn't make it any easier. I used to enjoy my alone time, driving lazily, smoking while listening to music but I'm starting to hate it because that's when I start to think of her and miss her. I feel sepi everytime I'm alone, and I didn't have anyone to hang out with yesterday. So I had to distract myself.

I spent the first three hours reading a bit from Catch-22, helping a few of my friends with some marketing stuff, and talking to Michael about random stuff. Catch-22 is funny, and I am seriously considering buying the book in a few weeks' time. Unless of course I could find someone who'd lend me the book. Talking to Michael was even funnier, with the topics going from Formula 1 to Malaysian Chinese's lansi-ness to road bullies to national economic situations to etc. Started to run out of ideas on ways to distract myself, so I went to One Utama.

What did I do in One Utama? Watch two movies back-to-back, alone. The first was House Bunny, which made me laugh on a few occasions but did not prevent me from attending to my phone on a few different occasions throughout the movie. The second movie, however, was different. It simply made me ignore all incoming calls, so it's safe to say that I was glued to my seat.

First of all, Budak Kelantan is roughly 99% Kelantanese dialect. I've had some bad experiences with Kelantanese people during my school days, but the dialect still attracts me. The fact that the usage of the dialect didn't sound fake (unlike those Razak Mohaideen movies) caught my attention even more. Of course, I don't like the movie just because of the dialect. There were other aspects to it as well. The whole cinematography was good. There were a few scenes that simply oozed coolness on a visual basis. Other than that, there were also a few good lines that I thought were brilliant. The whole "kande kambing" line was thought-provoking, to say the least.

I also liked the issues brought up in the movie. There was the whole issue of crime and delinquecy, which would attract any young Malay male I suppose. The movie also touched on friendship, and the movie's take on the two main character's friendship is good. It wasn't original, but good try nevertheless.

Anyways, I managed to distract myself from feeling sepi yesterday but I don't think I'll be able to do it everytime I'm alone. I can only hope that the next time I'm alone, I won't think of her anymore because more than anything else, I just want to enjoy my alone time. God help me.

Movie References... Funny...

I got this from Family Guy but I don't know what movie it came from. Sounds cool, though.

You wanna hurt me?
Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better.
I'm an easy target.
Yeah, you're right. I talk too much.
I also listen too much.
Oh, I can be a cold-hearted cynic like you.
But I don't like to hurt people's feelings.
Well, you think what you want of me, I'm not changing.
I like.. I like me.
My kids like me.
My friends like me.
Cause I'm the real article.
What you see is what you get.

Iverson becoming a Piston? Seriously?

By now you would have already heard the news. Iverson goes to Detroit for Billups, McDyess and Cheikh Samb. McDyess' contract would most probably be bought out, and Samb calls for no real attention so the trade is basically an Iverson-Billups swap. It looks like a win-win trade, but it's too early to pass any real judgment. I'm not going to discuss about the whole salary cap thing or the "which team is getting the better end of the deal" debate, because you can read about it in ESPN or other places. I just want to touch on two points regarding the two point guards.

Firstly, this move is basically a sign that I'm getting older. No, seriously. Iverson was one of my basketball idols while I was growing up and for Denver to move him in favor of JR Smith getting some minutes just shows that Iverson's time is up. Iverson's current talents is outweighed by JR Smith's potential. Iverson's old, and I'm getting older. Sigh... Oh, and Billups was reportedly moved to give Rodney Stuckey some playing time while McDyess was moved to give Amir Johnson and Jason Maxiell some playing time. Conclusion? These old guys had to move out of the young dudes' ways. Kudos to both organizations for finding the right deal to develop their young players, though.

Second thing, this trade changes the whole perspective of both teams, doesn't it? AI's a star, (or was, according to you haters) and he's now playing in Detroit who've been trying to justify the "we don't need stars to win" view. Then again, maybe AI wouldn't get as much freedom as he did in Denver, hence taking a more team-based approach towards basketball. Very unlikely, but who knows, right? On the Nuggets' side, I thought they wanted to run and run and run and gun, so what the hell is Chauncey doing there? Who knows. Looking at it now, Billups might slow down the offense but he's one hell of a pass-first point guard so he can make it work. Then again, the other Nuggets might have a hard time adjusting or worse, Chauncey might just run and run and run and fall.

Old people getting moved to give young guys a chance, change in basketball philosophies after a few years of losing in the playoffs, all these things show that these two teams are trying to change. We won't be able to tell what they'll change into just yet, but give it some time.Whatever it is, this trade has too many variables for any smart person to judge immediately. Goes to show how complicated life, I mean, basketball really is.

Archers Update

The Archers had a friendly with S12U, which consisted of ballers from the court in Section 12, Shah Alam today. S12U had 15 players while the Archers only had 7. One of us didn't play and opted to be coach, but we had the help of some UiTM regulars. It wasn't really a proper friendly, because we didn't really play by the books.

First up, there were no shotclocks. In fact, there were no clocks used, period. The winner is first to 50, with scores in 2s and 3s. There were no referees and no free throws, so players called their own fouls which led to certain players going rough and ended up being emo. Overall, it was a good match for both teams as we were both rather inexperienced. Archers won 50-40, by the way. Anyways, here's a brief individual scouting report for the Archers.

Fikri(guard) - Dude shot the lights out today. He made more than half of his jumpshots and really punished his defenders who gave him too much room to operate. He started out slow and made some bad passes early on, but pushed the pace once the team got settled in. Showcased some good dribbling talent. A lot of upside to this young, awkward-looking point guard. However, he's a little bit slow and doesn't really possess the ability to drive to the hoop. Will face problems once he faces quick pointguards.

Faiz(guard) - Defends with a lot of intensity and hustles. Once a guy loses his dribble, he closes up quickly. Fairly good on-the-ball defender. Valuable in pressure defense situations. Has a high basketball IQ, and knows where players are supposed to be to get the open shot. This guy shouldn't be taking jumpshots for the time-being. His shooting mechanics look consistent, but his shots weren't falling today.

Nazim(guard) - Anticipates the passing lane and gets the steal with ease. Projected to be the leading steals man in Archers. Good shooter in practice, but didn't bring his guns to the game today. Archers will need him to consistently shoot the outside shot in future games.

Dan(guard) - Plays according to the coach. Got tired despite playing limited minutes.

Yusuf(forward) - He can play the high-post well in practice, but struggled playing his game against rougher opponents. Showed flashes of his post game, but it was mostly because of bad defense rather than good offense. Can easily score when he's aggresive, and needs to be in that mindset throughout the whole game.

Ali/Sadiq(forward) - Didn't play but coached instead. Good at spotting fatigue and distributing playing time among the Archers. Should've been more vocal about calling plays, though.

PG/Bomba(guard/forward) - Ran up and down the court, but didn't finish his cuts when it mattered. Was not aggresive on offense, and looked lost at times during defense. His only two baskets were jumpers, one from midrange and the other a trey from the baseline. Needs to be confident in taking open shots and drive to the basket when possible.

Overall performance - Defended as a team well, as there were minimal leaks in their zone defense. However, they didn't capitalize on opportunities to trap opponents despite knowing that the other team had only a few true ball-handlers. They didn't finish their ball-rotation on offense, and it led to quite a number of long jumpers. Their guards didn't cut, and it led to the ball being stagnant on a few occasions. The team looked like they didn't have chemistry. This is most probably due to the influx of outsiders playing for the Archers today, but the team should've played their game nevertheless.

On a sidenote, I'm only doing this individual scouting report thingy so that I can better understand me and my teammates' strength and weaknesses. I'm not trying to diss anyone here. Peace.

Stages of Grief and Loss

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross stated there are five stages that people go through when faced with grief and loss. This can be related to death or even break-ups i suppose. Basically, the five stages are Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Final Acceptance. The thing is, i thing I got my stages mixed up when I broke up recently. Let me explain.

The first stage I went through when I dumped her was Bargaining. It was only a few hours after the incident, but I've already started to plead and beg her to take me back. Of course, she didn't give me a straight answer until 4-5 days after that so I went through the Denial stage. I kept telling myself that there is a chance to get back in the relationship, but I was wrong, so wrong. I'm going through Anger right now, because I feel like she toyed with my emotions and simply left me cold and bloody by the roadside. I feel betrayed, and I keep on having visions of bad things, really bad things happening to her friends. I'm sure that I haven't gone through the Final Acceptance stage yet, because I still feel as though this whole breaking up business is wrong. I'm not saying that I shouldn't have broken up with her, I'm only saying that I was made to believe something fake and things wouldn't be this painful if only she was honest to me.

Another reason why I feel like I got my stages mixed up is because of the Depression stage. For me, I didn't go through one single stage where I was constantly depressed. Depression was like a constant for me, because it existed throughout the other stages as well. I haven't had a single day since I've broken up where I didn't think about her and felt depressed. It goes to show that Kubler-Ross' theory isn't exactly perfect yet, but I don't really care about that. All I know is, I'm enraged and depressed and (oh please God) I hope I can go smack the hell out of her right now. If it wasn't for my "no violence against women" policy, she'll be going back to her friends with cuts and bruises. Argh...

While dealing with this depression, I kept on reminding myself that I've still got basketball, friends, family and my Koala. To tell you the truth, I'm glad because my friends and Koala has been there to support me throughout the whole break-up. Thanks Cerak, Khalis, Jean, Adam, and anyone else I forgot to mention. I would've gone crazy if it wasn't for you guys.

Oh, and Koala, if you're reading this, thanks a lot for being here for me throughout this hard time, and thanks for everything. I really appreciate it.

Random Emo Song

This is a song by Coheed and Cambria, one of my all-time favourite band. I like the lyrics because it works on so many levels. Personally, I think that the song's simply about a person who's just broken up and feels like he was betrayed by the ex. In fact, he feels like taking up a knife and cutting her up. Actually, cancel that. I feel like taking up a chainsaw and mutilating Comel. I just broke up a few days ago, by the way.

The Willing Well IV: The Final Cut

In the final curtain call
You left me here with the coldest of feelings
Weight, kind, depression
Blessing the floors with the places you’ve stepped in
Will they ever measure up to the way you left me?
Here on the roadside the bloodiest cadaver
Marked in your words: I’m the joke, I’m the bastard
Here wait, so I guess that you knew
That you’re… a selfish little whore
I’m the selfish little whore
If I had my way I’d crush your face in the door

This is no beginning… this is the final cut
Open up, I’m in love

Emo Song of The Week

I'm addicted to this song because of a few things. First, it's because of the lyrics. Short and concise, and it still delivers the desired emotions. I put my favorite lines in Italic.
Second reason, it's because of the guy's voice. His voice doesn't make feel sad. It makes me feel pain. It makes me feel his pain, and reminds me of my pain.
The last reason would be because the song's played with just two guitars through out the whole song, and it doesn't sound over-produced like the mainstream ballads you hear on MTV. This song sounds honest, in a way.
Anyways, go check this song out.

Nadia's Picture Show - Menunggu Dirimu

Semuanya kan berakhir
Kiranya kau kan mungkir
Tetapku menunggu mu
Untuk kau terus berfikir

Jangan kau anggap ini semuanya
Hanya mimpi yang tak berharga
Jangan kau hampa tentang isinya
Kenangan yang telah kita bina

Hanyaku yang inginkan semua
Untuk kita terus berdua

Ku kan terus tersiksa
Kiranya aku tetapkan menunggu dirimu

Harusku menahan semua kisah cintaku
Jauh, jauh….
Jauh…



p/s: this song will forever remind me of that emo girl

Random Update

First up, I'm going to go ahead and say that I think my non-paying 2-day modeling gig went well. Christie didn't put me in the IT nerds shot. Instead, I was put into two different shots. The first one was a massive group photo with 3 girls and 6-7 other guys. We all wore business suits, and one guy was holding a trophy in the middle while we all huddled up and faked some glorious emotions. It was funny because we were basically cheering and screaming for nothing, and the trophy we used was a really old trophy. Seriously, REALLY old. The props guy had to dust it off before we used it. That's how old it was.
The second shot was uber cool. See the Franz Ferdinand picture? That's the shot that Khalis, Aaron and I had to recreate. We all wore skinny jeans with coats and ties, the whole works. I even had my hair combed like one of the guys. We had to jump a few times before we got the shot we wanted, but it's all good. Christie said that she'll give us a CD containing all the pictures taken during the gig, and I can't wait to get it.
Jackie, one of the guys in charge told us that the pictures are going to come out early next month, most probably. Of course, since we're talking about Malaysians here, I'd say the earliest they'll come out is late November. Whatever it is, I'm pretty sure I'll be uploading the photos once I get it.
Anyways, I had a good Aidilfitri. The only thing I hated was driving back, because I got stuck in a traffic jam for 3 hours. Sigh. One interesting thing that I would not forget was seeing my little cousins trying to "layoq" some chickens while in Alor Star. My uncle and I had to "sembelih" and prepare 7 chickens for the family to cook, and the little buggers were forced to help pluck out all the feathers. It was funny because it was their first time doing it, and my little sister was making a big fuss over it. "This may be the only time I'll ever do this in my whole life," she says.
Oh, another random thing. I've been trying to figure out ways to kiss a girl without her noticing it. Things like lightly kissing the girl's shoulder when taking the escalator, kissing the back of her head while she's paying for something, etc. Anybody has any other methods to share?

Franz Ferdinand, IT Nerds and Boybands

Just a short update. It's about my first meeting with Christie regarding a (non-paying)modelling job. I just have to blog about this, but before that I'll have to explain about Josh and Khalis a little bit. Let me talk about Josh first. When I first knew him, he had this "emo" look going on. You know what I'm talking about. He got the hair, the black t-shirts, etc. Over the past year, however, he's been trying to reinvent his image and do this "preppy boy" look. I still make fun of his "emoness" from time to time, because he might not look the part anymore but he's still got some random flashes from time to time.

Khalis is good-looking. He's the type of guy that'll make people turn their heads for a second look. Seriously, he attracts a lot of people. From girls to guys, young to old, Malay to Chinese, etc. In other words, anyone from young Chinese girls to old Malay guys. That's how he got invited to be a model by Christie. It was a non-paying job, and he asked me and Josh to go along with him.

Christie's already got a few shots that she wants to copy, pictures or ads that she got off magazines. When Christie first looked at Khalis, she said "you'll fit into our Franz Ferdinand shot". Then, she listed down a few more shots that she thought Khalis might fit in. There were quite a few. When she took a look at me, she didn't hesitate and immediately said "we can put you in the group of IT nerds". Once she saw Josh, she said "ah, you can be in the boyband picture!". Can you imagine how hard it was for me to keep myself from laughing? Josh just made one of the craziest transitions I've ever seen. He's changed from Emo to Boyband!

Change of subject.

I haven't wrote anything about Comel in a long time, it seems so here's a new story about her. She's been putting up some happy lines on facebook and one line was taken from a malay song. It went "Oh, bawalah daku bersamamu oh sayang. Kita kan terbang ke angkasa, ke kayangan". I had a berbuka date with her last Wednesday, and the plan was I'll pick her up at her house to go eat at a mamak stall. On the day itself, she decided to stay back after work for a little while so we had to change plans. By the time I picked her up from work, it was too late for us to go to a restaurant because most places were already full. We decided to buy food at McD's Drive Thru and drive back to Shah Alam where we'll have a picnic somewhere. We ended up eating near this one lake/park in a housing area called D'Kayangan. Conclusion, she asked to be taken to kayangan and I delivered, although it wasn't planned. Pretty convenient coincidence, huh?

This Post Is Not About Comel

I was talking to Nick about how I'm not comfortable around gays and I think it's because I had an unpleasant scenario with this allegedly gay guy. This thing happened back when I was in Urbana. It was during summer break, and I shared a house with three other guys throughout the break. This incident happened during the first week of us moving in.

Of course, everyone felt tired during the first few days. There were a lot of stuff to move, clean, etc, so we understood why Squidboy(not real name) was still sleeping in his room at noon. He left his laptop outside in the living area, so Ogre proceeded to hijack it. Let me give a little perspective on Squidboy for you. He is a, er, "soft-spoken" skinny little boy with long hair. A big fan of Desperate Housewives, and doesn't watch the World Cup. Oh, and the guy's freaking religious. I mean, freaking religious as compared to most of my friends now, but that's besides the point. Let's continue with the story. So Ogre turns the laptop on and say," Just because the guy's religious doesn't mean that he doesn't watch porn. I bet you there's some porn clips inside this!"

Ogre went through the usual snooping business. He went through the various media folders and found nothing other than some bubblegum pop songs. He was disappointed, but someone mentioned the internet and it gave Ogre an idea. He checked out the history folder of Squidboy's Internet Explorer and voila. We found porn. I remember thinking that it must have been some good porn because Ogre just stood still with his jaw open.
...
Only thing is, they were gay porn.
...
Not one or two websites, but dozens of hardcore gay websites.
...
Nobody said anything for a while. We all sat there queitly while Ogre turned the notebook off and tried to remove any evidence of his messing around.

What was messed up was the fact that I just recently slept in Squidboy's room a few nights before that. See, I couldn't sleep in my room during the first night of moving in because the room wasn't ready yet so I had to sleep in Squidboy's room. It didn't occur to me at the time, but I remember having a wet dream while I was sleeping in his room. Freaky. No other word for it. FREAKY. Seriously FREAKY.

Nobody confronted him about the issue. He still doesn't know that we know. We don't want him to know. If he wanted us to know, he would have told us by now, I guess. Plus, asking him about it would mean telling him that Ogre went through his stuff so we didn't do it. Yes, so I blame my non-existent comfort level around gays on that one incident. The whole thought of having a wet dream in a gay guy's room while he was still in it just gave me some unwholesome ideas about what really happened while I was asleep. In fact, I shall stop talking about it now.

p/s: I think my writing skills are crap now compared to 3-4 years ago. Don't trust me? see my first few posts in this blog and see for yourself.

Random Emo Song of the Moment

I'm going to start putting up lyrics for random emo songs from time to time. I like this song particularly because of the lyrics. I find it sad, angry and witty. My favorite lines are in bold.

"All Hail The Heartbreaker" - Spill Canvas

I had the notion that you'd make me change my ways
My bad habits would be gone in a matter of days
I had the feeling that you'd open up my eyes
To a whole new world that had since been in disguise

But that day will most likely never come for me
And it's just my luck to end up getting stuck
To everything you are

So tonight I'll sit and pick apart your pictures
And overanalyze your words
But the truth is that I've never fallen so hard
It's taking everything in me
Just to forget your sweater so far

I had the notion that you'd make me forget the world
But your undecisive mind shows me that
You are "just another girl"
I had the feeling that those looks you gave me were real
What if I ripped your heart apart at the seams
Maybe then you'd know how I feel

I can honestly say
That I never, ever, ever felt this way
Your lips, your eyelashes, your skin
These are the parts of your body
That cause my comatose to begin

I will sleep another day
I don't really need to anyway
What's the point when my dreams are infected
With words you used to say
I will breathe in a moment
As long as I keep my distance
I wouldn't want to go messing anything up

So don't go worrying about me
It's not like I think about you constantly
So maybe I do, but that shouldn't affect your life anymore
I knew it the moment you walked into the door

I'll let you get the best of me
Because there's nothing else that I do well
I'll be the giver and you'll be the taker
I guess that's how this one's gonna go
I'll be the giver and you'll be the taker
You've got me down on my knees and I proclaim
All hail the heartbreaker



P/S: My definition of emo may differ from other people, so please don't hate on me if you think I've wrongly accused a band of being emo.

Baju Raya, Spaghetti and McD

I might as well right this out while it's still fresh.
I went out with Comel to find a Baju Raya because her mom was making a big fuss about her always buying at the last moment. She wanted to go with her cousin at first, but the cousin declined so I was her next choice.

First we went to Subang Parade, but it turned out that they don't have as many Baju Kurungs there as last year so we went back to Shah Alam after less than an hour of walking around there. We went to SACC after that and proceeded to walk for about an hour before crossing the street to go to Kompleks PKNS. Altogether, we walked for roughly four hours in search of one Baju Kurung that she would like.

To tell you the truth, I don't like going shopping with people. In fact, I'd much rather finish a pack of fags at a restaurant that serves bottomless drinks while reading a book but it was fasting month so I didn't have my usual escape route once I realized that the ordeal was going to last for more than an hour. Then again, she wasn't exactly bad company. We talked throughout the whole time and joked about eating at McDonald's, etc so I didn't get bored. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of wearing a capal instead of normal slippers so my back was killing me at the time.

When we got to her Baju Kurung of choice, I finally had the opportunity to sit down while she tried it out. I sat near the changing room, occupied with the thought of my aching back. When she got out with her blue Baju Kurung on, I was speechless. She thought I was just quiet because I was tired, but oh boy was I speechless. She looked lovely(pardon my lack of vocabulary). In fact, the whole four hours of walking around was worth it because she looked lovely(again, I can't find another word to use). My back was still aching, but it didn't matter because I was sending her back soon afterwards.

She felt sorry about making me walk with her for so long, and she felt bad about my back. We joked about me wanting some of her home-cooked spaghetti after I sent her home, which is not really that important until later on that night. At around 10pm, she asked me to wait in front of my house. I was surprised, to say the least, because she's never visited me at home before. Well, actually, she still has never visited me at home. She only came to my front gate and gave me a small paper bag.

What was inside the paper bag? Some food from McDonald's and some of her spaghetti. I still can't get this stupid grin off my face. Sigh. I have to thank her cousin one of these days.

Black and Pink

Remember Comel? The girl that gave me cupcakes on my birthday? Yes, that girl. I actually asked her to be my date for a formal dinner a couple of days ago. I went for the same dinner last year, and it wasn't really any fun except for the good company I had at the time. I didn't expect much out of this year's dinner, and since the organizer already pressured me into going I might as well have brought someone who'd at least entertain me. I didn't put much thought into the whole thing but Comel's sms on the morning before the dinner suggested otherwise.
"Fiq, i'm thinking of wearing a black n pink kebaya. so maybe it will be nice if u can get bj melayu yg sama colour =) "
First things first, I smiled when I got her text. I always smile when I get texts from her, especially when she sends me random sweet messages at different times of the day. Secondly, she actually put some thought into what to wear and wanted our outfits to match. Luckily my father owns a black Baju Melayu and a pink Kain Songket, but that's beside the point. What was amazing was the fact that I've told her how much I like seeing girls who wear Kebayas in the past, and she actually remembers it. I feel so appreciated. *grin*
As expected, the night came and she looked stunning in a black and pink Kebaya. The food was only so-so, the performances only slightly above average(except for M. Nasir and Estrella who were great) but I had a good time nevertheless. Managed to introduce Comel to a few of my friends and she looked comfortable. We had a little problem towards the end of the night, though.
After the dinner, Comel and I were already in my car when I realized that I didn't take any pictures throughout the whole night. I don't really mind not having pictures of M. Nasir, but how often would I get to take a picture with Comel while wearing matching outfits? So we went out of the car and proceeded back to the venue when I saw one of my friends who were in charge of photography that night. He agreed to take a picture of Comel and me and actually did so with the organizer's camera. In fact, he ended up taking quite a number of pictures of us posing. What was even more crazy was the fact that some other random guy actually came and stood behind my friend and started snapping as well. He must've thought we were some celebrity couple, the way he was taking pictures. Either that, or dude's just plain weird.
In conclusion, the dinner was good, the photo incident was funny and nice, Comel was great company, but the best part of the night was when Uzair(my good friend and head of the committee that organized the event) texted me later that night. What did he say?
"Bro, thx 4 comin. Awek dahlahot."

I Suck At Blogging

Wait, let me rephrase that. I suck at updating my blog in a timely manner. Also, I almost always never decide what to write until I'm in front of the PC. That would explain why I sometimes decide to write about something but end up never typing them out. Plus, I never go through the whole process of editing/rewriting my posts unless there's a really annoying typo. Well, I'm just glad that I'll be able to read my posts in the future and go,"so that's how I felt like at the time".

BALL
I joined the Civil Engineering Faculty's basketball team in UiTM Shah Alam for a small tourney. Outsiders were not allowed, but none of the administration people knew that. Plus, most of the ballers in UiTM know me and didn't have a problem letting me play. We got 3rd place out of 16 teams, and I had fun playing my limited minutes. I enjoyed coming off the bench because I've always had issues with stamina and the team already had good players anyways. Overall, I was happy with the team and the tourney. Will go for the same competition again next year, God-willing.
Other than that, I'm sort of training with the Archers now. I don't have my own jersey yet or anything, so you can say that nothing's set in stone yet but I'm pretty sure that I'll be a regular in the lineup sooner or later. Had a friendly match a couple of weeks ago against Raves, which were the "team belasahan" during this year's MB Cup. We won by double digits, so I guess it's safe to say that we're above the "team belasahan" title.

MUSIC
I've been listening to XFresh FM a lot during these past few weeks. Still can't believe how good the Malaysian music scene is right now. Anyways, what attracted me the most to XFresh was the fact that they played 100% Malaysian music and had very minimal advertisements. Oh, and I like how laid-back the deejays are. They seriously sound like normal people that I talk to in everyday life as opposed to highly-paid professionals who try to sound cool. Kudos to XFM!

BIRTHDAY
I celebrated my birthday recently. Had a calming day and sweet night. I went to take a nap in my car at about 10am, woke up about an hour after that and went for a fag. Proceeded to drive around, going through some places in Tmn Tun that reminded me of her. Finally stopped at the park and sat under a shade near my car. Read Archers' A Quiver Full of Arrows. Spent my lunch hour reading the book, and it gave me this contradicting feeling. I felt both empty and content at the same time.
Dinner was sweet, simple and short. Sweet, because I got cupcakes. Simple, because I just went out for dinner with a friend. Short, because she was wearing a short skirt. Let me elaborate.

CRUSH?
On Sunday two weeks ago, a girl I knew asked me for a favor. I shall call her Comel for now, because I'm still unsure about using her real name here. She's not exactly a friend, merely an acquaintance. We've never spoken to each other before for longer than a few sentences and even though she is rather attractive I've never really tried to get to know her. We did sms each other from time to time, but we never hung out together. The only times I've met her were by chance, but I digress. So she asked me to pick her up from the KTM station and I agreed.
We ended up having lunch and it was awkward to say the least. Neither of us really felt comfortable at first but it wore down with time. She was so comfortable, in fact, that she told me that she was bored being home alone and that her housemates wouldn't be coming back anytime soon. I may have been a considered a fool by many, but I did not go to "keep her company" at home. In fact, in retrospect, I may have been turned off by it. No decent girl would talk of those matters on a first date, right?
Days passed by, and I actually got more and more comfortable with her. We went out almost everyday, I even brought her along to watch a Chelsea match with my guy friends, and I even went out for dinner with her on her birthday(only one week apart from mine). I even managed to get in her house one fine evening, although it was only for the intention of using the loo. What happened during that 10-minute visit really opened my eyes. She had the front door of her apartment wide-open throughout the whole time I was there. That simple act oozed Malay quality, and I had a newfound respect, and attraction, for her.
On my birthday, I picked her up from her place. I actually went up to her apartment, called her and waited to see her walk out her front door. I'm not sure why I did that, but I was glad I did. She wore a lively-colored t-shirt(fun-fair, she said) and a denim skirt, and was holding a white box with a maroon ribbon on it. Although it may not seem much to anyone else, I actually stood still with a silly grin. She looked beautiful, and I felt warm thinking about how much effort she put in by herself just to make it a special night for me. What was in the box, you ask? 16 cupcakes, each with colorful icing decorations. Four had the words "Happy 22nd Birthday"(she got the age wrong,so what?), four had hearts on it, four had a ladybug design(weird but cute, nevertheless) and the last four had each letter of my name.
The birthday dinner was sweet, simple and short. Sweet, because she went through a lot of trouble to celebrate my birthday. Simple, because it simply made me happy. Short, because I wish I could spend more time with her that night.

New Idea

Guess what? I waited for a couple of weeks but Niko and Ema were the only two people who actually read and gave me comments regarding "The Waiting Man". Although it saddens me, I will still continue to re-edit the story until I'm ready to post it here. While waiting for that, here's my downdate.

I've thought about it long and hard, and I think that I'll start writing about my former relationships here. My memory will slowly fail me one day, and I want to be able to go back to my blog and re-live my memories here. I won't mention names, and since barely anyone reads this blog I don't see it as a problem anyway. I'll start with my first girlfriend after this blog.

I saw Sepi a few weeks back and I was disappointed. Not because the movie was bad, but because Sepi is not getting enough audiences despite it being a relatively good movie. It basically had three main plots, with each story focusing on three different characters played by Afdlin Shauki, Tony Eusoff and Baizura Kahar. Afdlin was lovable as the fat guy who finds love, loses it and stays in a loveless relationship because he didn't want to be alone anymore. Tony didn't have his usual pretentious slang, and his storyline made me cry. It's too hard for me to explain how without ruining the movie, though. Baizura's story was the weakest, in my opinion, but the poem in her story made up for it. Here's the poem as seen in the movie:

"bisikku pada bulan
kembalikan temanku
kekasihku, syurgaku

tanpa dia malam menemaniku
sepi memelukku

bulan jangan biar siang biar alam ini kelam
biar ia sepi sepertiku"

Beautiful, isn't it?

By the way, I've found a new guilty pleasure. Private Practice! I've never watched Grey's Anatomy before(PP being its' spin-off), but that didn't stop me from watching all 9 of its' episodes. The real attraction for me here is the supporting characters because I don't know why but I find Addison Montgomery to be uninteresting. Hot at times, but almost always uninteresting.

P/S: Elephant Man's Alarm Clock by Buckethead is arguably the best instrumetal(instrumental+metal) album I've had.

I Think I Like Writing

I finally came up with a name for my short story. I'm going to call it "The Waiting Man". I've got a draft done a few days ago with just under 1000 words. Am hoping to add more stuff as I go along. I've already sent the draft out to a few people, and I've only got two replies so far. Nick said that it was unimaginative and failed to grab the readers' attention while Ema said that it was awesome. I'm going to go with Nick on this one. I may very well post the story up soon, once I've got more replies and more ideas to add/edit the story.

By the way, I think I like writing short stories. This is only my first real attempt, and I felt giddy while writing some parts of the story. I can't really explain it now but I'll do once I post the finished product here. Hopefully it won't take too long.

I Don't Usually Do This

Saku introduced me to the Onion Movie a few days ago. The movie's basically just like the Onion Newspaper, where you get funny twists on current events such as an oil tycoon donating a billion dollars to his son. The whole movie's a mixed batch of funny short sketches. It's actually more like a 90 minute tv special, come to think about it. Don't expect a storyline, expect laughter.

One of my favorite sketches is the one about Melissa Cherry, a teen pop sensation who is trying to defend her songs in an interview with the Onion News Network's senior correspondent Kip Kendall. Enjoy.




Oh, and by the way, some people find the movie stupid and offensive.

Plans, Plans, Plans...

I've got a lot of plans lined up for my two-month holiday, but I'm halfway through the holiday and I still haven't done any of the things I've planned. Times like this make me wish that I'm not Malay, because, well, you know what they say...

My first plan was to compile all of the pictures I took on my Tokyo trip last month, and make 1r copies for a few people. I did that when I came back from Melbourne and I think that I did it within the first week of coming back from that trip. How come I've been so lazy these past 2-3 weeks?

I'm going to do what I did to The Fray's How to Save a Life to Hujan's Bila Aku Sudah Tiada. I think that Hujan is a great band and is setting a good example for teenage kids who's aspiring to become musicians. Problem is, I got bored of their songs after just a short while. I think it's because their songs are too vocal-heavy for me. Their instruments, except for a few interesting riffs, get drowned by the vocals and I think that's the only reason why they're becoming so popular now. You know how pop songs tend to have very simple and repetitive music with a lot of emphasis on the vocals? That's how I see them now and thus, that is why I am inserting another guitar to that particular song.

Which reminds me. I'm glad that bands like Hujan and Meet Uncle Hussain are getting mainstream listeners to notice them but how long will it last? No, I'm not talking about the attention they're getting but how much longer can their music last? Firstly, they often get the "Malaysian New Artiste" syndrome, where they're only famous for a year or so. It's not like I'm a big fan of their music in the first place, but I really do hope that they'll last longer Black Maria. Who's Black Maria? My point exactly. Secondly, these indie bands usually change the way they write songs to "better fit" mainstream radio. They use words like maturing, exploring or experimenting to disguise it, but who are we kidding here? If you're selling out, then you might as well be open about it but I digress...

Another plan is to do a simple workout I've concocted everyday for two months. It's basically to improve upper body muscle mass and jumping ability. It takes roughly 20-30 minutes to complete but I got injured a few weeks back. Haven't done a complete set in more than 2 weeks.

Last thing I wanted to get done was my short story. The story's quite complicated, but I'll try to keep it short here. Basically, the main character's in love with this one girl. He waited for her for almost a year and she's finally giving him signals. The problem is, he finds out that the girl is cluelessly still in love with her ex, and going into a relationship with her would be like taking poison. He gets stoned for a few days straight and the story will revolve on the fifth day that he's stoned. By the way, what's the minimum word count for a short story?

P/s: Pray that I'll get over my "malas" streak and get all of these things done by August.

So, when was the last time i downdated?

October 3, 2007. Roughly half a year has passed since I've written anything here so I don't really know if I should just continue blogging or leave it altogether. I read my old blog (yes, I had a blog before this and I abandoned it because of identity issues) and I realized that I was actually capable of writing a few good lines back in the days. Unfortunately, I don't think that I can say the same about myself now.
I used to write for the masses back then, writing about Siti Nurhaliza or other mainstream news at the time, but now I'm just writing about things that most people have absolutely no idea about. So what am I trying to say here? I'll address the issue in a later post. As for tonight, I'm going to try to write out as much as I can, not really because I want to, but because I need to. Reading your old works gives you a glimpse of who you were in the past and I want to be able to (in the future) recall who I was in 2008 by reading my blog. So here's my 6 months in a nutshell, read accordingly to what heading interests you:

NBA BASKETBALL

1. Kobe Bryant for MVP! He's officially won it at the time I'm writing this thing, and I don't think that anyone deserves it more than him this year. Arguably the best player in the NBA, he's just too good to be simply written about by a lowly blogger like me. So here's to KB24 who, even though I'm not going to write praises for him, is the best basketball player that I've ever seen play. P/s: Keep in mind that I've only started watching the NBA in 2002.
2. Lakers-Celtics in the NBA Finals? Very, very possible outcome. The Cs will undoubtedly win the East, but the West isn't really clear-cut. The only two teams that the Lakers have to worry about before reaching the Finals are the Spurs and the Hornets, mainly because they can't contain Tim Duncan and Chris Paul. Of course, even if the Lakers don't win it this year they still have a good enough team to contend for the next 4-5 years. Their bench is just superb considering their youth, and Bynum will be unstoppable once he's matured. Not to forget they also have Kobe.
3. Seriously, best Dunk contest I've seen in a long time. I just wish that D12 could've battled it out with Jamario Moon instead of Gerald Green. Which brings me to my next point,
4. D12 is a beast! Dwight Howard, along with Andrew Bynum, Emeka Okafor and a few other names that fail to come to mind right now is the future of the center position. By the way, I'm not putting Amare in because I think that he'll be a much better 4 than a 5.

MY BALL

1. Remember when I said Ball over Boobs? Well, I'm still sticking by it. Nothing much has changed over the past 6 months other than the fact that I'm concentrating more on rebounding now. Seriously, for my size, I think that I'm doing a pretty good job rebounding the ball. I have to thank Hanamichi Sakuragi for this. He's an inspiration.
2. I started playing is SS3, Kelana Jaya with John and I have to admit that I like having a change of sceneries. I don't want to sound racist, but the Chinese play a whole different ball-game compared to the Malays. Everybody's a shooter, so you can't give them too much space when they get the ball but most of them are so athletic that they can blow past you and drive to the hoop at will. I love defending these guys.
3. That reminds me. I think I'm getting a more defensive mindset nowadays. I seem to enjoy shutting a person's offense more than getting my own offense on. Crazy, considering my first year playing the game where I saw myself as a scorer.
4. Here's the few plays that I remember from the past few months:

• Me playing the guard position with Lan mole-mole, intercepting a pass on defense and running a two-man fastbreak with Lan that resulted in us winning the game.
• Me blocking Wan Kidal's potential game winning shot, and passing it to the front for what was the real game-winning shot.
• Shooting 3 treys in a game, bringing my team from down 8 to winning the game.

MOVIES

1. Laugh all you guys want, but I think that Dunia Baru the Movie was actually really good. I still think that Hitler Zami's overuse of good songs in the movie (and TV series) is rather annoying, but other aspects of the movie is just so freaking good.
   
2. Juno is a brilliantly made movie that pokes fun at teen pregnancy. What do I like about the movie? Its witty dialogue and catchy tunes.
3. Movies I'm looking forward to - The Incredible Hulk, The Dark Knight and Iron Man.
   
4. Other good movies I've seen -
   

• The Bank Job
• Stranger Than Fiction
• Cuci

MUSIC

1. Bullet for My Valentine's effort, Scream Aim Fire was nowhere near their debut album's greatness but still had quite a few good songs. My personal favorite is Hearts Burst into Fire.
2. The soundtrack for Juno is so good that I have to give it a mention. A quirky soundtrack, catchy and innocently sounding like a mixtape done by a 16-year old boy who's got an infatuation over a girl. Anyone Else but You by the Moldy Peaches - super cute and sweet and makes me feel like I'm that 16-year old boy.
3. I just started listening to Paramore, mainly songs from their album All We Know is Falling, and I must say that they do sound good especially on their acoustic songs. Don't trust me? Go ahead and youtube Paramore and give yourselves a good listen. Any song would do.
4. CoCa's No World for Tomorrow is just too good. A lot of people may think that they sold out, trying to go mainstream, but I personally think that the album is a masterpiece. Especially the five-part End Chapter. I simply can't ask a person to listen to just one song from this album. You HAVE to listen to the whole album. Seriously. I don't care if you buy it, download it or steal it but get the whole album. Trust me, if you're into rock then you won't find fault in this album.
5. Barry Manilow's actually got a few good songs. Surprised myself a little bit, but I have to admit that Mandy, My Eyes Adore You and (They Long To Be) Close To You are all good.
6. As I Lay Dying, Atreyu and Trivium. Just had to mention these bands again.
7. Chipmunknation! Youtube the word, and watch a few of the videos. Freakin' funny.
8. Stephen Lynch's The Craig Machine. Funny as hell. Try Voices in My Head.

MISCELLANEOUS
I need to get laid, man. Seriously. So if you're a willing lady who lives around Damansara or Shah Alam just drop a comment. I'm freaking serious! I NEED to get laid.

Other than that, I'll try to update this thing more often now. No, wait. Let me rephrase that. I'll try to update this thing, period. I'm not making any frequency-related promises. Til the next time.